Best Snide Story

American Voter

(written and performed by George A. Denino

with apologies to Stephen Sondheim and Leonard Bernstein)

link to video

Dear 2020 voter, you gotta understand,
Trump is a bullshit floater, a tweeting one-man band.
His mother didn’t want him, his dad sent him away.
But he owns the GOP today.

American voter, the handwriting’s plain.
With Trump the Constitution’s being flushed down the drain.
He holds up a Bible, but owns a white hood.
Deep down inside him, he’s no good.

He’s no good, he’s no good,
He’s no stinkin' good.
Like his Senate allies, he’s no good.

(Spoken) That’s a scary story.
Gotta tell it to the world! Better yet, I’ll post it on the web.

Addicted Facebook readers, The Donald is a tool.
He works with bottom-feeders who tell him that he’s cool.
They kiss his ass to please him, but if they dare to stray,
Just like clockwork, they will hear him say,

“He’s a loser. I hardly knew him. He only worked for me for a short time.”

Oh, bamboozled voter, you’re certainly square;
You think Trump’s gonna help you, but he just doesn’t care.
It’s not a neurosis that oughta be curbed.
He’s psychologic’ly disturbed!

He’s disturbed, he’s disturbed, he’s the most disturbed,
He’s a narcissist, and he’s disturbed!

In the opinion of this blogger, Donald J. Trump is a disaster as president on account he only cares about Donald J. Trump. But you don’t have to take my word for it. Here’s what he says about himself.

“Let me tell you. The one that matters is me. I'm the only one that matters. Because when it comes down to it, that's what the policy is going to be.”

But when asked about his policy decisions on the COVID-19 pandemic, he said,

“I take no responsibility. I’ve been right all along. We’ve done an amazing job.”

I’m pretty sure that one hundred-eighty thousand dead Americans would dispute those words if they could. Instead, I'll sing a plausible, fictitious testimonial from another nation's leader.

Dear kamerad Trumpke, Im so proud of you;
You follow my agenda, but what else can you do.
There’s no other option, for you no escape,
Because I have the pee-pee tape.

He’s owned; there’s no disputin’. We see it in his tweets.
He takes his cues from Putin, and then he gladly cheats.
If he is reelected, the rule of law is gone.
Voter, get that Trump sign off your lawn!

American voter, I’m begin’ you, “Please!
Don’t give our country four more years of Donald Trump sleaze.”
The nation’s survival depends upon you.
American voter,
Vote Blue!